Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Rant on doing Lupron!

Here's a rant on my Lupron Shot I've been doing; I've been trying to bottle up all the emotions about it & things keep happening so I can't get the second shot & so I just need to VENT it out! I started the shot in April to shrink my fibroid & stop the endometreosis from spreding, and I am totally hating it! The symptoms at first weren't too bad, but I am definently getting the worse symptoms!
Here's a few:
Hot flashes
Cold sweats at night
No sleep (i wake up from 3-5 every night now!)
My body just aches & aches! Especailly my joints!
My teeth are now hurting like crazy
Emotional
Headaches
Anxious
Loosing weight cause of stress
Bruises like crazy...I look like I've been beat up!
Things I have to do while going through the process:
Take hormone pills
Take calicum pills 4 times a day (cause my bones at 10% weaker from the lupron)
Take fish oil & other vitamins
Take lortab
Take ambien to help sleep
At least twice a month go in for checkups
I quit the hormones pills cause they were making me crazy! But it is not good to be taking all that stuff! I'm sick of it!
So with that said, my mind keeps playing games with me! I will go one day and say "in August only 3 more months & we can't start trying to have a kid again!" It makes me excited, then next minute I think how can this go any longer? How much worse will the sympotoms get? I'm still hurting & am I wasting time doing it and is it even helping?! The way this works is they send out my first shot, I get it & when the next one is due they send the next. Well I missed the call to get it sent & when I called back they had cancelled it. So I had to get a new perscripstion for it. They call me today & say there ready to send it out which is great! She says we need you to pay you portion of the cost today. When I set all this up I was responsible for 30% of the cost the rest insurance cover. So for the shots it $582.00, well that's what I thought anyway. That's per shot. I don't have money to pay over $1100 for a shot right now! My car needs a new transmission, we just signed papers to finsish our basement so I really don't feel like I can put out the extra money right now, we could borrow it but I don't feel right about it because my car should be fixed first so my in laws can have there car back. The other problem is if I wait till I get paid again it'll be past the due date of my shot & they won't let you do it any later than your supposed to get it. Where do I go from here?
I know things will work out the way there supposed to but this is getting hard. We've been trying for a year to get pregnant. It should not be this hard. It's supposed to be easy right? It was with Mason. We weren't wanting a baby at that point & he was a suprise. Nic told me that Mason was obiously ment to be especially if we can't get pregnant. Which I know is true, it's just starting to get really frustrating.
With all that said, I'm waiting for the call back today from my Dr. to see where to go from here. I think I wanna be done with the shot, I don't want the second one. Too much has happened with my back and forward on wanting to do it that everytime I decide to stay on it, something happens to make it hard to get the shot. Is it a sign or what? This is a hard decision!
End of rant....I couldn't keep it in any longer!